Hello, stranger in Banana Republic
Honestly, sir, I am flattered that you mistook me for a BR employee. However, I'm afraid that even a bona fide BR salesperson would have been unable to help your situation. Firstly, the salespeople do not have magical powers to cause the size shirt you need to materialize out of thin air, the shirt you were so determinedly seeking while sifting through the once-neat pile ten times over with your greasy french fry-eating hands. Secondly, you might be in the wrong store. I'm afraid that no tensile material known to man (neither Lycra nor experimental space program polymers) would be able to flatteringly encompass your corpulent figure. Might I recommend the Sears at the other end of the mall, or perhaps a trip to your friendly neighborhood Walmart?DJMonsterMo | 6:13 AM | 
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